In Need of Prayer

Friends and family -

Thank you so much for your support thus far. I need to ask for your continued prayers at this time, as I've recently been struggling with doubt and fear about my trip next month. Specifically, I just have not been sure if going to El Salvador is really what God wants me to do. I've been fervently asking God for answers as of late, and have actually received a couple of great confirmations that God's will is that I go.

Confirmation 1: Saturday, I started praying fervently for a clear answer as to whether or not I should be going to El Salvador. Sunday rolls around, and quite a few people just randomly bring up my trip in conversation. It was encouraging to talk about it with my brothers and sisters at FCCT.

Confirmation 2: I spoke with an Orphan Helpers staff member named Josh for the first time. His ideas and passion for his own trip to Central America this summer stirred up my spirit. One of the things he and Richard (Exec. VP of Orphan Helpers) have been working on is a new program for the discipleship of the many new Christians in the Ilobasco detention center in El Salvador. This conversation with Josh of course came right as I've been praying for a clear answer from God.

Warning 1: Last night, I had a really intense dream that I was on a plane to El Salvador, and I was EXTREMELY fearful, feeling completely unprepared. I hadn't packed anything for the trip.

I think what God is telling me is that if I'm going to do this, that as of now I am not sufficiently prepared. What kind of preparation is this? Discipleship experience, practicing my Spanish, committing myself to daily prayer, Word study and journaling, and consecrating myself completely to the Lord.
I believe God is warning me not to go on this trip unless I am willing to prepare myself properly. Looking back on the past school year (Aug. 06 - May 07), I realize that I had many great opportunities to commit to discipling some awesome individuals that God put in my life. Unfortunately, I think I pretty much blew those opportunities. I think those opportunities could have been preparation for what God had in mind for my El Salvador trip - that is, discipleship (as shown in my conversation with Josh). So now I have a decision to make. I've got one month to prepare for a trip that I should have been preparing for since I returned from the last one. And God has still left some doors open for discipleship. I will pursue those open doors and see what happens.

In summation, please pray for the following:
-That I would be diligent in preparing in each department
-That God would grant me some opportunities to disciple in June
-That God would continue to give me clear direction about the trip

Thanks again for all your support. I will be sending out a letter via snail mail soon.

"Not my will, or my plans, or the way that I want;
I'm so tired of my hands in the way.
So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today"
-Jason Upton, Teach Me How to Pray